Mantras are used in many aspects of life, often in religions and spiritual cultures. The effects of mantras on people are well known, most often entering a medatative state for those fully enganging in them, this also serves to reinforce the belief in the deity. Anyone who’s ever dieted would have come across the mantra “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, or the more modern “you did not wake up today to be mediocre”. In BDSM however our mantra’s are similar to a prayer, often designed to support and reinforce our submission to the person we love and trust.
In my day job I am responsible for the lives and wellbeing of others, trying to get into a sub space after work was something I really struggled with as a new sub.
I read an article on BDSM rosarys, and we decided to give it a try. My Master comes from a religious background and so writing a rosary was child’s play to him, the idea was that you have a set of beads, or in our case a piece of rope with knots in it and you hold it in your hands, running the beads or knots through your fingers. When you get to each knot you pause and repeat a set phrase and mediate on it before moving to the next knot.
Kneeling at Sirs feet he presents me the rosary he had written, and left his laptop on the side so I could read from it. It was beautiful and more powerful than I had imagined it could be. I fumbled on the words a few times, it was a lot to take in. But it had a lovely flow to it, and I actually felt very peaceful by the end of it. For the first time I appreciated the call of faith for others. Blissfully relaxed I lent my head onto Sirs lap and he whispered to me “good girl”.
We used rosarys for about 6 months, and it was a really useful tool. However I am massively forgetful and often I found myself stumbling on the words as with all rosarys…they are long! It got old for Master hearing me fumble, as it broke the flow so we decided to use the ‘chorus’ of the following:
“Master, I am your slave and your property. I will work and I will sacrifice that I may reflect your desires.
Use me Master as you see fit, that I may learn to serve and submit to you in all things.”
Everytime I remove and put my collar on (which happens a lot when your not allowed neckware at work) Sir will often force me to my feet and ask me to recite as we are going into high protocol, whilst roughly tightening His play collar around my neck.
Mantras work in various forms, and it does depend on what you need them for. Finding the “Submissive reset” button does appear to be a common issue amongst subs, mantras are by far the most powerful I’ve found, however I appreciate they take some work to get right and so in the meantime I’ve listed below some other things I’ve found to work. These are things I think can work for all subs on any level, and I feel things that should be offered a part of your normal dynamic and not just a tool.
- Kneeling in silence at your Dom’s feet, maybe resting your head in his lap. Silence alone is very powerful!
- Footrest. I thought this idea was rather silly at first, however I’ve come to find it incredibly relaxing and a definite submissive reset act, I never thought I would be a foot rest girl as I’m quite a wiggly submissive. The idea I thought was one of humiliation, but for me it forces me to stop. Something I think a lot of us submissives rarely do. Its also a meditative act and so I’m usually very spacey.
- Tea. Making and serving a cup of tea I know works for some submissives, kneeling to present and quietly sipping your tea, again another silience is powerful act that can help to reset.
Would love to hear from others there experience in this, and if you’ve found any tip and tricks to reinforce your submissive mindset. Please do share them below.