Processing pain in BDSM

Before I met my Master I had only experienced a spanking from 2 people, my ex who was inexperienced but trying his best and an experienced Dom whose attitude was very much that you should be able to take his hardest or “you’re not a real sub”, his spankings felt like it should have shattered every bone in his hand. It scared me so much I could no longer believe I was a masochist.

Then I met my Master, who introduced me to erotic spanking or “funishment”. Pain play that would take me to an endorphin fueled euphoria I didn’t know existed.

There are currently articles and books in existence about how to process pain as a submissive. I find them really sad, as it doesn’t have to come to this.

Since my experience as a new sub with the wrong Dom, I’ve come to realise it’s not how it should work. If you’re in the hands of someone who’s dishing out lots of pain you’re not enjoying or coping with, then “processing” isn’t going to help.

A good spanking…

  • Makes you wet
  • Challenges you
  • Gives you fuzzy feels afterwards
  • Can make you feel loved up.

Pain play shouldn’t be something you feel you have to take “painkillers” for, learning to process isn’t going to help and in the long run means you get the wrong idea of what erotic pain feels like.

Erotic pain should be challenging yes, but measured in a way that shows understanding of where you are at.

Having watched and been involved with many submissives, all who deal with pain differently I am not convinced that “learning to process pain” is a problem the sub has to deal with and rather it being a mismanagement from the Doms behalf.

If you’re struggling please take a step back and communicate this with your Dom/Top. Explain what you’re experiencing, many tips on how to give a good spanking can be found in my master’s book “in the flesh“.

Describing the difference between the bad pain and the good pain is tough, as everyone is slightly different. You’ll experience the good pain as something you can cope with, and if you pause, breath and reflect on it you’ll notice is effect on you. (It’s easy to get into the I’m in pain headspace and not notice the good)

Bad pain sends you mentally to a bad place where you just want to escape and take painkillers given the option. If this is a regular occurrence, maybe you need to have a chat with your Top to let them know you’re not enjoying what’s happening.

We all need to be in this to enjoy it, not to endure it.

 

This entry was posted in Learn on by .

About CheshireCat_MMH

I am a bound girl, an on my knees yes please girl, but just to be clear I am those things to my Master only. I am also a rigger, the gentle sweet kind - who will turn up the pressure oh so slowly that you wont realize I am hurting you till you hear your own whimper. We make rope, made with a sadists love my Master says - or at least thats what he tells me as he grabs hold of my nipples while I am working the rope. So what will you find here? Well... it might be a snap shoot into our lives.. you can see a little about our rope on www.mmhjute.com and my masters rope pics on www.instagram.com/mastermhatter here... here you will find snap shoots and moments behind the scenes, and probably...me in the bath tub with beautiful girls who leave me weak at the knees.

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