Newbies: Kinky friends and mentors

The value of friendships on the scene is often overlooked by our new kinky peers as dating often taking presidence for those entering the scene.
Relationships are formed and fail on the basis of various misunderstandings and communications.  Often things that i feel usually an established kinkster could guide them through.
I’m always hearted to read if someone new adds a mentor to their profile.  It shows how much they understand the grand scale of the scene and are willing to ask for help.

Whilst I don’t discourage newbies dating, I do think that whilst your learning the ropes it is beneficial to have someone with reasonable experience who’ll listen and help you on your journey.

My partner and I are poly, he’s a skilled Dom who often finds himself with requests from eager new submissives, we discuss every person we meet and whilst my partner is free to play with who he wishes he respects my opinions and we are often discussing who he might next play with. I rarely advise him not to get involved with someone however the only time I have done so is when he met someone who had no kinky friends. This is a big warning sign for me.

Picture this if you will. . New girl on the scene eager to play with a Dom they’ve just met. They have a great scene together, and both walk away smiling. That is until the sub drop hits, and as we all know no newbie recognises sub drop.  The girl is feeling very low, tearful. She turns to her best non-scene (vanilla) friend, who is understandably concerned when she hears about her friends latest escapades.  Of course she would feel low she let a man hit her, grab her throat, slap her about etc. . what was she thinking….!!!

It is not a story that ends well for either parties, and I’m afriad it is one we’ve seen before.

Joining the scene there will usually be a host of people wanting to meet you, we are a friendly and welcoming bunch and always are happy to have someone new join their mist. Saying openly your new at an event will usually invite the host to help introduce you to people.  Use this opportunity to the max, ask questions. Lots of them is great, we often find people come onto the scene pretending to be experienced and that puts up a pretty massive barrier as it’s always obvious if you are not genuinely experienced. I usually have to walk away and hope they will move on from the falsity eventually so that  friendship can be forged later on.

NOTE FROM MASTERMHATTER:
When looking for a mentor pick someone of the same gender, and the same role as yourself. If you are a Dom find a Dom to mentor you, if you are a sub find a sub to mentor. It is easy for lines to get blured if you end up as a sub with a Dom mentor for example. This should be someone you are not sexualy involved in that you can turn to just for advice and guidance not play. This is an area I have really made mistakes on in the past!

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This entry was posted in Learn, submissive friends on by .

About CheshireCat_MMH

I am a bound girl, an on my knees yes please girl, but just to be clear I am those things to my Master only. I am also a rigger, the gentle sweet kind - who will turn up the pressure oh so slowly that you wont realize I am hurting you till you hear your own whimper. We make rope, made with a sadists love my Master says - or at least thats what he tells me as he grabs hold of my nipples while I am working the rope. So what will you find here? Well... it might be a snap shoot into our lives.. you can see a little about our rope on www.mmhjute.com and my masters rope pics on www.instagram.com/mastermhatter here... here you will find snap shoots and moments behind the scenes, and probably...me in the bath tub with beautiful girls who leave me weak at the knees.

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