Those vanilla’s

One of my Masters pet hate is the term vanilla.  A while ago a friend who is not of the bdsm community overheard us describing her as a vanilla.   She was deeply offended. “So this means I’m lacking in flavour because I enjoy sex without the beatings and latex” she retorted.  We were actually a little embarrassed, and fumbled a reply of “erm…no?”

She added “you don’t know what I get up to in the bedroom” (oops yes true) and that making  assumptions about her sex life was incredibly rude and inappropriate.

The dictionary describes vanilla as (we’ll assume that people aren’t being mistaken for the bean here) in this context meaning “having no special or extra features; ordinary or standard”

It is so widely used and accepted in the community that we had never given it a second thought.  If we had, we would have realised that it is actually an insult.

I don’t know where or who coined the phrase, but I would like to think that the majority will agree that a life without kink doesn’t mean inferiority.

We HAVE to stop calling those not involved in the scene as vanilla.

The BDSM community shouldn’t join the bigots league, “looking down at all the muggles”.  We should celebrate our differences, of which who are we to judge. If our communities are to learn to coexist in harmony we have to make that change and stop using terms that demean our non kinky counterparts and those who chose to live their kinky lives without the involvement from other kinksters.

In its place we feel that “non scene” seems to be generally approved of amongst our non scene and unkinky friends

This entry was posted in life goes on on by .

About CheshireCat_MMH

I am a bound girl, an on my knees yes please girl, but just to be clear I am those things to my Master only. I am also a rigger, the gentle sweet kind - who will turn up the pressure oh so slowly that you wont realize I am hurting you till you hear your own whimper. We make rope, made with a sadists love my Master says - or at least thats what he tells me as he grabs hold of my nipples while I am working the rope. So what will you find here? Well... it might be a snap shoot into our lives.. you can see a little about our rope on and my masters rope pics on here... here you will find snap shoots and moments behind the scenes, and in the bath tub with beautiful girls who leave me weak at the knees.

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